so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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