I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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