I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
