He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
