remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
