im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
