I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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