Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
