For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
