im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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