Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
