I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize