We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Acid is not a monday night drug
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
