We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
