I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
