she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
