Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
