Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
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