i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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