im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
