Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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