his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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