you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
