i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
