you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
