Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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