We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I yelled at your uterus for you.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
