I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He did a backflip because drugs
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
