Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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