I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
