Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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