Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Im part way to drunk.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
