you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
