12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
