I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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