then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
