why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
