She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
