At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
