they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
