I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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