And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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