grandma shit on top of the toilet
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
