why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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