Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
