Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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