If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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