But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
