mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
