Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
