I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Your cock deserves a montage
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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