Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
