HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
